I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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