Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
