She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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