Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
