I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
