For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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