Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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