Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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