I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
