i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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