just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
false alarm, still single
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
