The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize