what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
