Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
