Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
