Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
