whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize