bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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