try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
