Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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