i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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