He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
