I smell stomach acid.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
