Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
