i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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