I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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