so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize