That's intense
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
