Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
