i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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