I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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