her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize