You kept calling me your small dog last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
