How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i now understand why vodka
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
