i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize