Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
