Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She's the barista slut.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize