Apparently you make a good broom.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize