We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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