Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
