I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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