he told me I talked like a deaf person
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
