Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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