dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
