we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
