he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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