Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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