my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
