ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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