its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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