Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Couch. On fire.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
