How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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