i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
