Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
