Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
