So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
