where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
