dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
