if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
