I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Come on in and take your pants off
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