I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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