We're facebook friends in real life
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
