btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
